By: Michael Drukarsh - ‘Tis the season for really crappy Christmas songs. Everywhere you go for the next month you will certainly be inundated with holly jolly chestnuts roasting on open fires. Lucky for you, LoudTO is here to metal up your holiday season with the 12 days of headbanging, hard rocking, Santa slaying Christmas tunes to you through the season!
Day 12 - "O Come All Ye Faithful", Twisted Sister
Used as inspiration for the anthem “We’re Not Going to Take It”, TS finally laid down the OG track on their sixth and final album, 2006’s A Twisted Christmas.
Day 11 - "Red Water (Christmas Morning)", Type O Negative
Dark, gloomy, and gothic, everything you’d expect from the late Peter Steele. A tale of lost friends and family, "Red Water (Christmas Morning)" brings joy to every gothic metalhead.
Day 10 - "We Three Kings", Halford
Metal God Rob Halford brings us the gift of metal in the soaring rendition of a holiday staple. Found on his third solo album, the aptly titled Halford III: Winter Songs, "We Three Kings" stands out amongst other Christmas offerings on the album.
Day 9 - "Viking Christmas", Amon Amarth
A lovely little ditty about remembering Christmas past, only as a Viking. Taking a break from sailing, fighting, plundering, and crushing skulls, the vikings in this Christmas tale look back, with a tear in their eye, at a childhood full of raw meat, wild berries, goat milk and sticky bread. A memory I’m sure we can all relate to.
Day 8 - "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen", Dio and Tony Iommi
What do you get when you cross the riff master and one of the best voices in heavy metal? The second coming of Black Sabbath of course! Found on 2008’s We Wish you a Metal Christmas compilation, the mini Sabbath reunion helped to make this tune stand out from the rest.
Day 7 - "Run Rudolph Run", Lemmy Billy F. Gibbons, Dave Grohl
Another offering from We Wish You a Metal Christmas, "Run Rudolph Run" holds true to the Chuck Berry 132 bar blues original but of course when you and a dash of Lemmy and a sprinkling of ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and the working man's drummer Dave Grohl, Rudolph’s nose shines just a little brighter.
Day 6 - "Stripper Christmas Summer Weekend", GWAR
Stripper Christmas Summer Weekend, GWAR… enough said
Day 5 - "Little Drummer Boy", Christopher Lee
Definitely one of my favourite Christmas songs, "Little Drummer Boy" takes on a whole new feeling when 91 year old British actor Christopher Lee who made Dracula a horror movie classic adds his famous deep baritone to unforgettable “A-rum-pa-pum-pum.”
Day 4 - "No Presents for Christmas", King Diamond
The perfect song to play while the family is gathered around the tree Christmas morning. A lovely montage of Christmas classics to lull grandma into a false sense of holiday magic before King’s demonic laughter cuts through the speakers to declare he is dreaming of a white… Sabbath!
Day 3 - "A Mistress for Christmas", AC/DC
Looking for a little action over the holiday season, Brian Johnson hopes Santa can bring him what every little boy (or girl) dreams of (keeping in mind this was pre PC). A grope in the hay, a female form in minimum dress, or perhaps a trip to Heaven with three in a bed. HO HO HO!
Day 2 - "Winter Wonderland", Ozzy Osbourne and Jessica Simpson
In the “SO BAD IT’S GOOD” category of Christmas songs, the Prince of Darkness teams up with teeny bopper Jessica Simpson for this autotuned fiasco of a collaboration that must have come about because of a drunken bet one crazy night. So why is it number 2? The video is hilarious and well, it's Ozzy.
Day 1 - "Christmas with the Devil", Spinal Tap
“The elves are dressed in leather and the angels are in chains”. You cannot get any more heavy metal Christmas than that. From the band that wasn’t really supposed to be a band comes the best Christmas song EVER. Taking the joy and magic of the holiday and turning it on its head, Christmas with the Devil is everything a self aware, genre mocking carol should be. Sorry tiny Tim, there'll be no Father Christmas ‘cause it’s Evil’s holiday.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ALL OF US AT LOUDTO!
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