WHAT IF... Alice Cooper Edition
- jaybroderick
- Apr 28
- 5 min read
By: Michael Drukarsh - At 77 years of age, the Godfather of Shock rock, Alice Cooper has lived (and survived) a career that put many of his contemporaries six feet under long ago. A well documented battle with alcoholism as well as countless moments of debauchery and self-indulgence Alice has so many "What If’s" that trying to condense them into five events was difficult, but that’s what we do here at LoudTO. So you can sit back and enjoy Alice Cooper… What If…
1) A true fan of the Alice Cooper band will know that the band started simply as an opportunity for Alice (then known as Vincent) to participate in his school’s talent show. Together with his cross-country team mates, Glen Buxten, Dennis Dunway, John Tatum and John Speer, he dressed up like a Beatle and called the band the Earwigs. Despite only two members actually having any talent at playing an instrument, the band was a hit and Vincent caught the bug (pun intended). "What if" the Earwigs flopped as an act and Vincent continued to pursue his very successful career in cross-country?
2) Vincent and the boys have a career defining connection with Toronto. After a few name changes, the band settled on Alice Cooper. Despite the many rumors surrounding the choice, the name came about simply because of the dichotomy between the sweet sounding name and the persona they wished to portray on stage. This seemingly “villainous” approach to music was put on full display during the newly named band’s appearance at the Toronto Rock and Roll Festival held at Varsity Stadium in September of 1969. During a massive pillow fight causing feathers to fill the stage, an audience member decided to throw a chicken on stage. Alice spotted the feathered fowl and figure, since it had wings, it could fly. He proceeded to pick it up and launch it into the air above the crowd. What this innocent kid from Detroit didn’t realize is that chickens do not fly... they plummet! After getting the news that the fans totally obliterated the chicken, Alice was worried that this one mistake could ruin his career and wanted to go to the press to apologize. Frank Zappa, the band’s label boss, called Alice and asked if he killed the chicken on stage. When Alice told him what really happened, Zappa instructed him not to say anything. It was already all over the news, planting the seed for what would become the greatest villain in music! "What if" Alice hadn’t heard from Zappa and instead reached out immediately to the press to explain what actually happened on stage?
3) Despite earning the bad boy reputation for their live shows, the Alice Cooper band didn’t find much success with album sales. After a re-release in 1971 of their hit “I’m Eighteen” by their new record company Warner Brothers, the band finally found major success releasing a total of seven albums between 1969 and 1973. By ‘74 the band was under a lot of stress and decided to take a hiatus, coming together for what would be their last performance in Brazil in April. Alice returned to Los Angeles and started appearing on TV shows like 'Hollywood Squares' and the 'Snoop Sisters'. Alice was a natural performer and had an affinity for television, even making a much loved appearance on the 'Muppet Show' in 1978. "What if" Alice decided to forgo the rock and roll lifestyle for the glitz and glamor of Hollywood?
4) With the release of Welcome to My Nightmare in 1975, Alice solidified himself as a solo act, even legally changing his name to Alice Cooper to avoid any issues with his former bandmates. The meteoric rise to fame brought about complications that, while appeared to be well handled by Cooper, was in fact killing him. Alice was a functioning alcoholic, consuming a six-pack of beer before noon and reaching for a Seagrams VO and Coke-Cola after. Despite continuing to put on more elaborate shows on a nightly basis with ease, behind the scenes, Alice was constantly throwing up blood and barely moving from the couch. With his wife Sheryl and manager Shep Gordon’s intervention, Alice was admitted to Cornell Medical Center. This was in October 1977, five years before the Betty Ford Clinic for addiction rehabilitation was opened. Cornell, was in fact a sanitarium, caring for people with mental disabilities. Over his four week stay, Alice not only got sober, but realized that his experience in the institute and his interactions with patients fit perfectly into the world of “Alice Cooper” and from that the album From the Inside was born, complete with characters right out of the sanitarium's white rooms. "What if" Alice never got the help he needed and instead was left to continue drinking himself to death every day?
5) Despite leaving alcohol behind, Alice’s addictive personality meant that he needed to find another vice to curtail the boredom of life off the stage. Turning to cocaine towards the end of 1979, Alice found himself once again lost in the fog of addiction. During this period Alice created what many now believe to be some of his best work, the lost albums, Flush the Fashion (1980), Special Forces (1981), Zipper Catches Skin (1982) and DaDa (1983), so named because Alice has absolutely no recollection of recording them. Touring for Special Forces saw a completely emaciated Cooper going through the motions while his record sales continued to plummet. It would be a full five years before Alice took the stage again, this time completely sober thanks once again to his wife Sheryl and his new found faith in God. Making a huge comeback with his 9th solo album Constrictor, Alice was back at his rightful place upon the shock rock throne. "What if" Constrictor flopped and Alice went right back to his demons?
(BONUS) If you’ve had a chance to see Alice Cooper live, you know you are in for more than just a concert. Alice’s shows are theater, with characters and props, blood, and dismembered bodies. And, at the end of each show, Alice always faces the consequences for his actions. Over the years, Alice has been electrocuted, decapitated by guillotine and hanged. In 1988, during rehearsals for his current tour, Alice set himself up to be hanged like he had done many times before. This time, as the floor went out below him, he heard a snap as the noose tightened around his neck. It seems the safety wire did not do its job. Instead of putting his neck down, Alice quickly tilted his chin up allowing the noose to slip over his head, saving him from suffocating, but sending him crashing down to the ground, knocking him out and leaving him with some pretty bad rope burn across his neck. "What if" Alice didn’t act as quickly as he did?
What started as a joke and a chance for young track star Vincent Furnier to ham it up in front of his high school friends turned into a lifelong career as rock’s most beloved villain. Alice Cooper has achieved what many of his peers have not, a long and successful life. With most of his famous drinking pals from the Hollywood Vampire club days long since passed, Alice remains a true testament to what family and faith can achieve. Replacing his drug and alcohol addiction with golf, Alice quickly climbed up the ranks of the golf world but thankfully kept his main focus on music. With an impressive 29 studio albums (seven as the Alice Cooper Band, the rest as a solo act) Alice Cooper is without a doubt rock royalty and continues to tour and let the villain loose on stage nightly. But rest assured, hard hearted Alice always gets what he deserves in the end.
Alice Cooper Online
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